This body language is all based on what researchers discovered works best in today's western cultures. Here are the successful tactics used for men who captured the attention of their desired woman. In these five web pages, we will give you the five steps to help you get what you want, too.
The five steps outlined here are greatly influenced by the tactics that have worked for men's millions of ancestors. The modern environments are new, but the basic five steps have worked for several million years. So study this carefully then proceed to Step 2.
The first thing to do in searching for a mate is to go where the women are, and establish your territory. You should enter walking slow and tall, with good posture and no extra movements.The more extra movements you make when entering, the more your body language signals you are nervous, unsure of yourself, and not in control. So walk in slowly, confidently, quietly and with no extraneous arm and head movements.
Next, find somewhere to sit comfortably or stand where you can see the women. If standing, don't cross your arms across your chest. Instead, hook your thumbs in your front pockets with your shoulders back, head held erect and feet a little less than shoulder width apart.
If seated, place some personal objects near you to claim and mark your territory with keys, drink, food, coins, cigarettes, lighter, or whatever you have to put on the table. These personal possessions say, "I am here and this is my territory."
The main thing you have to do now is to look comfortable and to expand your body to occupy maximum area. For example, don't pull your neck into your shoulders like a turtle. Look big, relaxed, and send the message: "I am here and this is my comfortable space." Women can recognize this "alpha male" look a block away!
In men's DNA is the natural tactic to establish territory with masculine body language. This is an important instinctual behavior that is a part of men's ancestors ancient hunting and mating ritual. Women unconsciously are looking for this behavior in men because they historically have made the best mates.
When in your "territory", it is natural for you to display your dominance level, or "Alpha Maleness". Modern day men display their dominance level in how they dress, act, and with their possessions. This body language is done for three reasons:
Instinctually for survival reasons, women seek a man who is healthy and strong so he can protect her and the offspring. Therefore, women seek the Alpha Male or high-status type mate when available.
Slowly, confidently and casually scan across all the women's faces and watch for a return eye contact a little longer than usual. DO NOT break eye contact before she does. Make sure she is the one to break eye contact before you. This eye contact will be the main indicator that will be very important for both of you! And don't worry about the women seeing you look at them. The women are there to be seen, and they enjoy men looking at them, even if they are unavailable. Collectively, women spend $26 billion USD on makeup every year to make sure men do look at them! Don't waste their money. Look with pleasure! They love it! But most importantly, you are watching for how she disconnects her eye contact with you.
In most cases, the women may only very briefly make eye contact, and then disconnect by looking off to the RIGHT or LEFT. They may even shift in their chair, so their body is facing more away from you. That indicates "no interest" right now. Don't take their disinterest personally. They may not need a man, so forget them. Keep searching for a woman who looks back at you slightly longer than usual, and then disconnects by looking DOWN. A lingering look sends a powerful message of more than casual interest. Looking down is a natural flirting body language sign of submissiveness. She will also probably do one or all of these preening moves while looking down:
In her DNA is a strong unconscious need for a man to help her complete her biological destiny: that is, to pass her DNA to offspring. Her looking down is DNA programming asking for your help! However, consciously she may think all she is looking for is a new friend to spend some time with.
And those women who just give you a blank stare most likely are not wearing their glasses and don't even see you, so forget them. Most guys who feel the pain of countless rejections are usually going after women who have clearly signaled that they are not interested, as signaled by their eye quick disconnect left or right. Don't be stupid and go charging after the good-looking woman who doesn't look you in the eye and quickly disconnects from eye contact! You will only be setting yourself up for rejection and a big disappointment.
When you get a lingering eye contact, give a little smile and a very slight head nod and maintain the eye contact. Your strong and pleasant eye contact held on her shows her three things instantly:
OK, it is time for you to take action if you have found a woman who ...
Forget the rest of the people there and get ready to approach her. She is waiting for you! Now it is time to move on to Step 2 in meeting the perfect mate for a long term relationship or maybe a new friend for a one-night adventure. In either case she is ready and waiting for you to make the next move.
© Copyright 2005, revised 2009 by Lawrence Rodrigues, M.S., Director: EastWest Institute for Self-Understanding.
All rights reserved worldwide.