For millions of generations, body language has been one of our best tools for successful survival and mating. Since humans learned to speak, we have switched to paying more attention to verbal messages rather than body language messages. This is unfortunate because unconscious body language messages are more accurate and truthful than words. When two people are relating to each other, their body language messages reveal more about how they feel about each other than their words do.
Body language messages are sent automatically and mostly unconsciously. Women send approximately five times more body language messages than men in the same time period. Women also read body language better than men. This is a survival skill engrained in women's DNA from millions of female ancestors dealing with men.
Men mostly use body language cues to evaluate other men for signs of dominance and competitive advantage. In order for men to get along there has to be an understanding of each man's ranking in the group. Peace and harmony in the group lasts as long as each man accepts his hierarchical position and does not compete for a higher level - at least too openly and strongly This complex social process is carried out mostly by unconscious body language.
The most common way women flirt to attract a man's attention is preening. Tossing their hair around, stroking and combing it, and generally moving it away from face and shoulders to expose soft bare skin are strong signals that women use to get men's attention and interest.
Another great preening move men enjoy watching is for a woman to do things calling attention to her mouth. Licking her lips, putting on lipstick, or eating something slowly with obvious great pleasure is stimulating to men. Just watching her mouth makes men hungry for the smell and taste of all of her stimulating and delicious pheromones.
Entwining her legs draws attention to being a woman. Men can't do this because their hips are too narrow. However, in this case it indicates not only that she is a woman but also she is closed to sexual advances from men. Her tight leg muscles indicate she is very protective of her private area. However, to most men her tight leg muscles are appealing and they are his challenge to untangle.
Slowly crossing or uncrossing her legs while gently stroking her thigh is unmistakable female flirting body language. This move generally means, "Look at this wonderful female body!" Another great move is for her to adjust clothing with loosening, opening or exposing movements to call attention to her body. If she is clever, she exposes some bare skin in the process. This is where the guy accidentally misses his mouth and pours his drink in his lap while trying "not to look".
When sitting with legs crossed, bouncing her foot back and forth rhythmically while dangling one shoe off her toe, signals much more than, "My foot is tired and I want to go to bed!"
The bare foot is the first step in undressing and implies taking off the rest of her clothes is easy because they are just barely on. Everything can just fall off so easily! She is ready to undress at any time now.
When a woman fusses with her hair, while talking to a man, it raises her breast toward his face and makes him fail to hear most of her words. If she is really a vixen, she will expose her armpit (which, may be even shaved and "nude"). This may blast her pheromones out to him and make his brain "scramble". The woman can forget about getting any intelligent conversation from him after this move!
While chatting with a man, if she slowly strokes a smooth, round, (and preferably wet) object (such as her drink glass) she will be indirectly and strongly teasing and stimulating him. She is sending him a message that if he is good to her, maybe he will be rewarded in a very special way. She knows what he likes and knows how to make him squirm. At this point he will usually uncross his legs, open them, and point his crotch toward her. When he does this he is sending a body language signal to her saying that she can have his "goodies" anytime she is ready.
Women's flirting body language is generally movements of opening clothing and exposing bare skin or touching their hair. Women's flirting body language to attract men is nearly always sexual because women know what men want! The message in women's flirting body language is this: "I am a healthy, sexual, woman open to you coming closer. I won't resist you!" Her smile says, "I like you and I won't hurt you. Come closer."
Researchers have identified that both men and women use five steps for finding a mate.
© Copyright 2005, revised 2009 by Lawrence Rodrigues, M.S., Director: EastWest Institute for Self-Understanding.
All rights reserved worldwide.