Body Language Broadcasts IntentionsBody language messages are sent automatically and mostly unconsciously. Women send approximately five times more body language messages and gestures than men in the same time period. Women read body language much better than men. This is a survival skill engrained in women's DNA from millions of female ancestors dealing with men. Men make a lot of mistakes in displaying their own body language and make it easy for women to read their intentions - and men do not always have good and honorable intentions!
Men are not as good as women in reading all body language cues. Men mostly only use body language cues to evaluate other men for signs of dominance and competitive advantage. In order for men to get along there has to be an understanding of each man's ranking in the group. Peace and harmony in the group lasts as long as each man accepts his hierarchical position and does not compete for a higher level - at least too openly and strongly.
Compared to women, men's ability to read body language is poorly developed. It doesn't seem to matter if a man's "friends" really like him, as long as they don't try to take his food or woman! Men's best insurance for protecting what is important is to not get too close with other men. If there is plenty of distance there is no need to study the other guy's body language.
For millions of generations, body language has been one of our best tools for successful survival and mating. Since humans learned to speak, we have switched to paying more attention to verbal messages rather than body language messages. This is unfortunate because unconscious body language messages are more accurate and truthful than words. When two people are relating to each other, their body language messages reveal more about how they feel about each other than their words do.
Most unconscious body language deals with survival and passing-on our genes to future generations (i.e. getting sex). Habitual body language that worked for survival and mating has been perfected and repeated for millions of generations. Women and men today are still using much of the same body language to attract a mate that their ancient ancestors used.
The Facts About Mate SelectionHere are some interesting facts about the mating process:
- Both women and men have inherited very strong desires to survive and pass-on their genes to their offspring by having sex. Without this strong drive we would have become extinct long ago. Life and survival were really tough in ancient times, and the desire to mate was a driving force for both men and women (as well as all animals) to struggle and survive in a very hostile and dangerous environment. "Survival of the strongest and smartest" are two of the important factors in evolution that increases and improves the survivability genes in all living plants, animals, and humans over the long run. This has been working for millions of years!
- Men and women can't singularly make offspring, so they must come together to get the job done jointly. In the past this chore was done pretty quickly, much as most animals still do. Since humans have developed societies with rules of behavior, the process of mating has become ritualized and really different (and difficult) in most cultures.
- A woman must expend great time and energy to give birth and raise a child. To do this best she needs to attract a man to help her get pregnant and afterward to help raise the offspring. (Recently in our history, the importance of the man has been diminished in some societies where women can function independently. Even the act of impregnation can be done in the lab by a woman doctor, but the sperm must still come from a man. Men are not totally obsolete, yet!)
- Women want to have a lot of choices in men today so they can get the best one. "Best" means the man who can help her make the healthiest babies then protect and support her and the children for long survival.
- Women want to have choices today in men for a mate, so flirting and dating provides that opportunity. Women have inherited proven successful body language flirting techniques in their DNA to attract many men for more and better choices. (And this game is all about sex!)
- Men must compete with other men for a woman's acceptance. Therefore men must "court" a woman in order to get accepted as her mate. There is a huge amount of research data on men and "sperm competition". That is another story all about men and their competitiveness and combativeness with other men, which shows up in their unconscious body language all too frequently.
- In nearly all the species the ultimate decision for which male is accepted to be the offspring's father is the decision of the female. Men pursue women but women usually get to select who they mate with in most western cultures.
- Female beauty (with all the makeup and techniques to make it happen) is all about looking young and healthy in order to make the best babies. Unconscious female body language to attract males primarily displays this message: "I am a healthy female and you may approach me to make babies." According to the US Commerce Department, Americans spent $33.3 billion USD on cosmetics and other beauty products in 2010, up 6% from 2009. That is one modern indicator for how powerful the drive is to mate!
- The male's body language is one of the primary factors guiding the female's choice of mate in most species. Females in species that bond, mostly look for strength, protection, and caring behaviors in the male. Human females who find a man with these desired characteristics often call this "being in love".
Some researchers have claimed that human survival in the past simply worked this way:
|Men traded food for sex.|
Women traded sex for food and protection to survive.
Women's Flirting Body Language Revealed!
The most common way women flirt to attract a man's attention is preening. Tossing their hair around, stroking and combing it, and generally moving it away from face and shoulders to expose soft bare skin are strong signals that women use to get men's attention.
Another great preening move men enjoy watching is for a woman to do things calling attention to her mouth. Licking her lips, putting on lipstick, or eating something slowly with obvious great pleasure is stimulating to men. Just watching her mouth makes men hungry for the smell and taste of all of her stimulating and delicious pheromones.
Entwining her legs draws attention to being a woman. Men can't do this because their hips are too narrow. However, in this case it indicates not only that she is a woman but also she is closed to sexual advances from men. Her tight leg muscles indicate she is very protective of her private area. However, to most men her tight leg muscles are appealing and they are his challenge to untangle.
Slowly crossing or uncrossing her legs while gently stroking her thigh is unmistakable female flirting body language. This move generally means, "Look at this wonderful female body!" Another great move is for her to adjust clothing with loosening, opening or exposing movements to call attention to her body. If she is clever, she exposes some bare skin in the process. This is where the guy accidentally misses his mouth and pours his drink in his lap while trying "not to look".
When sitting with legs crossed, bouncing her foot back and forth rhythmically while dangling one shoe off her toe, signals much more than, "My foot is tired and I want to go to bed!"
The bare foot is the first step in undressing and implies taking off the rest of her clothes is easy because they are just barely on. Everything can just fall off so easily! She is ready to undress at any time now.
When a woman fusses with her hair, while talking to a man, it raises her breast toward his face and makes him fail to hear most of her words. If she is really a vixen, she will expose her armpit (which, may be even shaved and "nude"). This may blast her pheromones out to him and make his brain "scramble". The woman can forget about getting any intelligent conversation from him after this move!
While chatting with a man, if she slowly strokes a smooth, round, (and preferably wet) object (such as her drink glass) she will be indirectly and strongly teasing and stimulating him. She is sending him a message that if he is good to her, maybe he will be rewarded in a very special way. She knows what he likes and knows how to make him squirm. At this point he will usually uncross his legs, open them, and point his crotch toward her. When he does this he is sending a body language signal to her saying that she can have his "goodies" anytime she is ready.
Women's flirting body language is generally movements of opening clothing and exposing bare skin or touching their hair. Women's flirting body language to attract men is nearly always sexual because women know what men want! The message in women's flirting body language is this: "I am a healthy, sexual, woman open to you coming closer. I won't resist you!" Her smile says, "I like you and I won't hurt you. Come closer."
Researchers have identified that both men and women use five steps for finding a mate.
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