- First, she can reject him in front of everyone there. In front of his buddies, the other male competition, and all the other women.
In this approach situation, he gives a woman stranger the power to publicly judge him and announce to the room that he is looking "good and desirable" or he is rejected as the worst sleezeball, scumbag, and bag-of-crap in the Universe! And everyone there will see her decision of what he is. That is a scary and powerless feeling! Many guys won't even play that game and just get drunk instead.
- The second thing that makes this approaching-a-woman action scary, is that all the other guys are watching. If she rejects him, then all the guys will see him as a "failed hunter" and chuckle. That is instinctual hostility in their DNA and comes along with a lot of aggression of their own, plus an unconscious desire to see him fail! That makes the odds better for their success. This comes in men's DNA from millions of years of competing for breeding rights with the females. This attitude is stupid in today's world, but these instincts are ingrained deeply in the male old brain and come along with the testosterone. Some guys even turn it into a game of "dare" for their buddies so they can see them fail.
- The third thing going on, is that if she rejects him in front of the other women there, he will be seen as a looser and unacceptable to all the other women, too. At his deepest level is the fear that he will never find a mate to produce his offspring and pass-on his DNA. This is like a foreseen death! At the conscious level this is ridiculous, but at the DNA level it is a terrifyingly real fear. That fear comes from his old brain that is still wired from millions of years ago!
The old brain (i.e. the limbic system) is what controls our bodily systems such as heart rate, perspiration and breathing. As he approachs the new woman, his limbic system will be running wild because of his ancient ancestors' experiences!
So during this tense situation when the guy is approaching you, with his opening line well rehearsed, the best thing you can do is this:
- Make it easy on him! He will greatly appreciate a receptive smile and your willingness to hear his initial comments (i.e. His "opening line" that he has probably rehearsed since he was 12 years old).
- Reply in a positive and friendly way. Acceptance is what he wants -- not rejection in any way -- especially not in front of other people there.
- Use your body language to also show your acceptance of him: Look him in the eyes, smile -- and don't have folded arms across your breasts. Hiding your breasts with folded arms says, "You can't see that I am a woman, so forget the sex." That is a subtle negative cue that will not go unnoticed at the unconscious level and make him feel prematurely rejected and uneasy. This can even trigger hostility because he feels unfairly judged even before he speaks to you. It is all subtle and unconscious. No wonder some guys just get drunk instead of "chasing women"!
If you make his approach look acceptable to all the others there, he will be especially grateful and immediately like you! His ancient hunter instincts will be greatly stimulated. At his ancient deep limbic system level he will feel like he just killed the biggest mastodon and saved the whole tribe from starvation!
Unconsciously, he will be eager to please you and say, "Thank you for not making me look like a failed hunter!" This is all going on at the unconscious level. At the conscious level he is probably mostly aware that everyone is watching him. He will do everything to proudly show everyone there that you accepted him eagerly. Often this is done by offering you something like a drink, food, or cigarette so that you will reach out and accept it. That is a symbolic gesture indicating that you accepted him. At this moment it is extremely important for him to show the world that he is not a failed hunter and useless pile of mastodon crap. That is how he would feel if you rejected him now in front of everyone there.