First watch and listen to their speech patterns as they describe the events related to the untrue incident. Pay attention to how they talk to you using a different pattern of words. Also their voice probably will be higher.
Lying people usually delay a few seconds longer when answering a question with an answer that is not truthful. Truthful answers come faster than untrue answers. The slowed responses are because the person has to determine what words are safe to say. This takes a noticeably longer time for answering questions with lies.
Lying people also leave out the pronoun "I" in their lying conversation. This is suppost to remove them out of the lie, they hope. They will mostly talk about other people and their activities but not their own. They want to distance themselves from the untrue tale they want you to believe.Also liars speak in basic simple terms with lots of generalizations when telling their tall tale. They offer few details. They hope you will accept as true everything related to whatever incident they are telling you. Part of liars' strategy is to use lots of "fluff" words that offer little detail but seem to add something to their tale. Their sentences are longer when talking about the untrue incident but don't provide any facts to support their lie.
Here is what body language to watch for when a person is lying to you:
Keep in mind that periodically everyone tells "little fibs." That is what we call lying when it serves us: fibs. In many cases, we lie to protect a person's feelings, such as "You look so much thinner since you cut down to only five hamburgers a week." We also lie periodically to avoid doing something we don't want to do, such as: "I can't go shopping with you because I have to wait for a phone call." We also lie to increase our importance, such as "I could have won the award, but I didn't try so the little girl could win."
One researcher, Joseph Tecce at Boston College, has identified six types of lies:
Lying frequently occurs in the flirting and dating game. It often happens because telling the truth may block the liar from getting what he or she wants, and a little lying may facilitate getting what is desired.
Women often lie to make others feel good. This may increase the relationship, which is something of primary importance to most women. Men often lie to make themselves look good and increase their status, which is something of primary importance to most men.
Both women's and men's lies are often used to elevate their status to discourage competition. An example is when a woman says to a female friend who shows interest in her boyfriend: "My boyfriend is impotent, snores and really is a slob, so I just go with him to help him."
Another thing to watch for to detect lying is a sudden change in movements. The liar tends to shut down and tries to maintain control of the situation and in so doing becomes quieter and stops normal body movements until you have accepted the lie. A liar may leave out pronouns and speak in a monotonous tone. This heightened tension may cause the eyes to increase blink rate also. Any spoken words during and immediately after the lie will come harder, and there may be more than normal mispronunciations and stutters. The liar is more defensive than usual and also may place objects (cups, keys, pencils, chairs etc.) between self and others.
Since the tension is high in liars, they need some self-comforting. They stroke their hair and touch their face more frequently and harder than usual. Scratching and rubbing their nose is common in liars, but don't accuse all nose-rubbers of being liars! The best overall liar detection clue is a sudden change in posture and movements from the normal patterns for a short time until you have accepted what is said. If you believe someone is lying, change the subject quickly and watch their reactions. A liar will follow along willingly and become more relaxed. The guilty wants the subject changed, but an innocent person may be confused by the sudden change and will want to go back to the previous subject.
The Evolutionary Roots of Deception and the Unconscious Mind" is a fascinating book about this subject of lying. The author, David Livingstone Smith, believes that lying (and other deceptive traits as well) are deeply embedded in our subconscious as a result of evolution. This means simply that our many ancestors who survived by lying (and doing deceptive things) passed on stronger and stronger genes in each generation for this talent. The ancestors who did not have the knack to lie and deceive died off. Thus, evolution produced the best liars and deceivers. Interesting thought.
These images below were taken from a video made during two theater rehearsals for an upcoming play. The top row two images are the same scene as the bottom row two images. The actress is saying the same words in the top and bottom rows. The actress is playing a character who is describing how much she loves a male character in the play.
In the first two pictures in the top row, the script words she is speaking are very close to how she really feels about the male actor in real life. During the first rehearsal (top row images) the two actors were truly in love in real life off-stage. Her words are the truth about her feelings. She is not lying.
However, before the scene was re-shot in a second rehearsal, (bottom two pictures) the two actors had a big fight and ended their relationship. Therefore, this time when she speaks her script words about the play's character (the same words as in the first pictures, top row), these words are not true. She is lying, and her body language exposes her real feelings toward the actor now -- although the 'loving' words are the same in both scenes. The dramatic difference in body language, especially her eyes and hands, reveals that she is stressed about saying those words and is lying.
Compare the pictures taken before the break-up (top row) and those after the break-up (bottom row). In all pictures, she is saying the same words in the play's script but she is unaware of the differences in her body language.
© Copyright 2005, revised 2009, 2015 by Lawrence Rodrigues, M.S., Director: EastWest Institute for Self-Understanding.
All rights reserved worldwide.