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What Do Men Really Look for in Women?

All Men Are Part Caveman

Men's needs and tactics for mate selection are programmed in their DNA. Today's men's behavior is still affected by evolutionary selection choices made by ancestors over the past millions of years. Humans survived as a species because of wise choices and practices of ancient ancestors in attracting mates. Many of the ancient male tactics for mate selection are still used today by many men.

What worked best for our male ancestors to get a mate and produce offspring still shows in the behavior and body language of most men today! Men today are using much of the same flirting, dating, and mating body language that their ancestors used going back thousands of generations. It works well to make offspring, so why change!

Research on men's behavior and body language in mate selection indicates that men seek a mate with characteristics that can produce the healthiest offspring. It is also interesting that these mate hunting practices in men are evident most of their life, even when elderly and not making babies anymore!

Men and Women Want Something Different

Men's most desired characteristics in women are primarily physical. Below is what most men are attracted to in a woman:

  • Young and healthy. A young, healthy female has the best probability of conceiving and producing healthy offspring. Therefore for best success in passing on their genes in offspring, men have a preference for young healthy women. Characteristics associated with youth and health are these:
  • Breasts full, firm and not sagging.
  • Rounded hips and slim waist. (70% ratio is most desired.)
  • Long legs. (Adolescent's legs grow faster than their body so long legs implies youth.)
  • Small lower part of face with full lips, high cheek bones, and long neck.
  • Large eyes and small nose. (That child-like look.)
  • Long healthy hair.
  • Flat belly.
  •  Hemispherical buttocks and arched back.
  • Men of all ages show a preference for symmetrical and proportional young women.
  • Symmetrical and well-proportioned physical features are what we call "good looking." "Good looking" implies good health and therefore healthier offspring.
  • Youth also ensures less chromosome damage. The older the mother, the greater the probability of producing offspring with genetic problems. Therefore, men of all ages unconsciously are attracted to young, good looking women.

Waist - hip ratio

Research in many cultures worldwide revealed men prefer the woman whose waist is 70% of her hip measurement. This 70% ratio was men's first choice no matter what her total weight was. This 70% ratio implies youthful high fertility and is pretty good assurance that she is not already pregnant by another man.

Men Hunt With Their Eyes

Man, the hunter, has a mental image of the desired ideal woman, and he is always using his eyes to search for her. That is why men enjoy pictures of women so much. Women know that men prefer young, good looking, healthy females, so women use makeup to conceal signs of aging and poor health. A youthful, healthy body is emphasized in every way possible. The 26 billion dollar beauty aids industry relies on women's needs for products to make them appear to be young, healthy and fertile. Clothes, makeup, hair, high heel shoes, facial gestures, and body movements are used in ways to emphasize femaleness, healthiness, and sexual maturity to get the attention of men. Add to that some outright flirting and males of all ages will follow them to get some action!

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About Mate Selection and Sex Drive

Men and women are different!In case you haven't noticed, researchers tell us that sex drive is different between men and women. Duh!

Men notoriously throughout history have been the sexual predators. Researchers have all found that men think about sex many times more often than women do. Here are some differences between men's and women's sex drive:

  • Healthy men make 200 to 300 million (MILLION!) sperm a day! Each one of those little wigglers has a strong desire to get to any female egg. You do the math: Each wigglier's drive multiplied 200 million times equals a lot of drive! Twenty-four hours a day those little wigglers are trying to get out to a female's egg. In most cases, any female will be fine with them. No wonder guys are the way they are! How many women do you see in prison for sex crimes? 
  • Women, on the other hand, are fertile only about 24 hours a month. The rest of the time their body is cleaning house, taking a break, or getting ready to make a baby. If her brain decides to give herself and a guy a treat, she takes much longer than the man to get her body ready for the action. Women are much more complex than men. Men have an ON and OFF switch when it comes to sex. Women have to go through a checklist about as long as an airliner's crew in order to get all their complex machinery oiled up and ready to go.
  • Most men's sex drive remains relatively constant as they age. Even when the male machinery breaks down and no longer stands up to the task, the desire remains strong until the brain functions decline. (Sex really is all in the head!)
  • Most women's sex drive increases with age up to age 30. After that, there is usually a steady decline in desire. The research showed only 20 percent of women age 50 were interested in as much sexual activity as they had in their thirties.

These differences have proven to be the most successful for our ancestors to survive for millions of years. Men made the most and healthiest babies by taking advantage of every opportunity for sex with all the young females they could corner.

Women's ancestors succeeded in making the most healthy babies by attracting a man to protect and help her survive with her child for several years after the fun. By women being fertile a short time, the guy who stuck around and lived with her helped her make babies that survived. Therefore, much of women's sex drive is influenced by how good of a relationship she has with the guy before she gets turned-on for the fun. Smart men figure out that before the action starts they have to prove their intensions to stick around after the fun is over. Get use to that guys! It is in all women's genes!

The Game is the Same at Any Age

Good life couple.Even after our child-bearing years are over, we look for a mate with the same characteristics as when we were young. Most women always seek a man who is strong and caring with a lot of resources to make a good home for the family -- and "good looking" is not really important.

Most men at any age are attracted to all healthy, young, fertile women who can make healthy babies -- even when he doesn't want any children. It seems that the software that drives our internal unconscious mental "computer" for mate selection does not come with software upgrades for after menopause!

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© Copyright 2005, revised 2009 by Lawrence Rodrigues, M.S., Director: EastWest Institute for Self-Understanding.
All rights reserved worldwide.