What Is Your Body Language Really Saying?
Our ancestors used body language before they developed speech. This went on for so long and was so effective that their body language vocabulary is still deeply embedded in our own DNA and used daily as habits.
Researchers say that we actually use our body language to pass more information than we speak verbally. Some researchers estimate that approximately 80% of our communication with other people is nonverbal information. It's mostly unconsciously displayed by our body language in posture, gestures, and movements. Body language cues reveal more about how a person feels, and their intentions toward us, than their words do.
Analysis of Sexy Body Language at a Pool Party
From our ancestors' we inherited in our DNA the physical features, desires, and habits that evolved to be the most successful in finding mates and producing offspring. Interestingly, much of our body language is about sex -- often inappropriately. Check out what is going on here!
At the most basic level of human behavior this pool party is a mate hunting scene. The men are each pursuing a female for you know what. And each female knows what the guys are seeking.
This action is an ancient game that millions of our ancestors played successfully to make babies and continue our species. Those genes that orchestrated successful matings in the past are still in humans today.
In this scene we see evidence of those genes influencing behavior that worked in the ancestors most reliably for producing offspring. In each person in this scene there is a deep unconscious drive to use the same body language that worked for the ancestors.
Man A Body Language Analysis:
- This "Macho Man" has an aggressive and dominate body language position standing over her, with his foot between her legs. He is ready to go sexually as far as he can with her. He is watching her body language for when she will put the brakes on, but there is no sign of that yet, so he is charging right on in to her personal space.
- His drinking while in her face is a dominate, aggressive and even a hostile body language display. He is trying to show what a tough stud he is and that he gets everything he wants to satisfy his thirst - and she is next.
- However, leaning on his right leg and holding his left leg shows how he really feels: insecure, unsure, and needing support. He knows his bold aggressive approach may get him in trouble with her. At any moment she can publicly reject him in a number of ways that would greatly embarrass him in front of all the other men and women. He fears her rejection so he is feeling insecure, as indicated by his unconscious body language showing a need for support. Men hate to be a "looser", especially in front of other men. But if he gets what he wants from her tonight, he will brag to his buddies tomorrow - and for the next week!. Men are "hunters" and strive to get "trophies" they can brag about to raise their status. (We will go more deeply into this status need in men later.)
Woman B Body Language Analysis:
(Jump to top next paragraph . . .)
Man C Body Language Analysis:
- His left hand is on her butt while looking in her face and talking. This open display of him messing with her butt gives him a feeling of ownership of her - and the other guys better not interfere. He is probably thinking, "She obviously is not objecting to me, likes me, and wants more. I'll see how far I can go." For men there is always a likely possibility of sexual rejection. (Men learn about sexual rejection from experience beginning about age 12 and through uncountable bad tries until they die!)
His left leg is playing footsie with her left foot. Another private fun game going on while talking face-to-face. Even though he is very close face-to-face, his real goal is to draw her attention down to where his left hand is trying to stir up some action "down stairs". As he advances and she allows it, his fear of rejection decreases. This "hunting game" for men is very satisfying and maybe is more fun for some men than reaching the final goal in the bed.
Woman D Body Language Analysis:
- She is laying in his lap, close to his important "property", but it is only her back touching him there. That isn't really a very sexy part of her body, so she feels safe this way. She enjoys watching him desire what she apparently has available for him. His strong desire for her makes her feel valuable and important, and that satisfies a need in her ancient DNA for protection by a man to insure survival. His imagination is getting more than she is actually giving him but that is stimulating!
- Her left hand is pulling his arm so he gets a good handfull of her soft butt. She knows he likes that! And to turn him on more, she is thrusting her breasts up at him. She is enjoying seeing his desire for her. Makes her feel valuable, safe, and protected.
Her left ankle is over his left ankle, slightly pulling him to her. She is saying, "You can get really close." Although she is participating in his intimate testing and teasing game for now, the way she has her left leg pulled over tightly at her crotch indicates she is NOT totally open to his advances into her most intimate zone. At least not yet.
Man E Body Language Analysis:
- His left hand is on foot of woman F. They obviously know each other and he is trying to keep connected to her physically and emotionally. He is showing his possessiveness of her - and her body language says she doesn't like that.
His chest is very exposed and displayed for all to see. This is an attempt to appear strong and dominate both to her and other men. He needs to scare other men away from her because he is insecure about her interest in him -- which is very little right now. He probably isn't going to be getting any of her goodies tonight!
Woman F Body Language Analysis:
- She is looking down and reading, trying to ignore him. She doesn't like his attention on her right now. She is saying by this position: "I'm not interested in you, can't you see I'm reading?"
- Her left hand is against her head while looking down. She is trying to indicate that she is mentally occupied "all in her head" and doesn't want any of his physical interests that he is trying to call her attention to.
- Her legs are bent away from him showing that she is not interested in his physical games of being close, and would like to disconnect from him physically and emotionally. She probably has already made up her mind that she is NOT going to be giving him much of her time and NONE of her goodies that he is trying to get.
Body Language Seldom Lies
There are two primary themes for all body language. The first is mostly about surviving with the other people encountered daily, such as how close you want to get, how much you do or don't trust them, and how interested in them you really are.
A second major theme of all body language is about getting or defending against sexual encounters. In our socialized world today our sexual desires are best left hidden! However, our ongoing natural desire for sexual satisfaction is often revealed in our unconscious body language. Oh yah! When you see an attractive person nearby your body will most likely signal, "Hey! Look what I have for you!"
We will discuss this unconscious body language more later because you might want to stop revealing what is really on your mind!
<< View Navigation Menus >>